is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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