I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize