he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
