Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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