Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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