The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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