I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
