riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
