Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
