i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
