Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
