On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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