my vag is so smooth its legendary
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
