It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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