Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
