I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
