Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
