The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
