You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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