My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
