And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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