Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
