I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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