Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
