So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize