Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize