Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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