sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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