well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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