I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
