I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize