Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
