This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
