he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
