Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
