Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
