Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
