ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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