Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
