Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
