Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize