You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize