He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
