Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize