i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
