just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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