is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize