You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
