I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Let's get the cat blown out
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
