I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
