I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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