Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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