i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
