No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize