My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
