like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
