Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
