Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
