He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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