No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I bet he comes in French.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
