Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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