i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
