you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize