just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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