yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
