fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I have aggressive nipples.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
