It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
