At least make sure they are 18
Why
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
