don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
