Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
