I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
