That's intense
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
