just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
