oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
