If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
