did you get engaged???
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My dick has a subreddit
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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