I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
