Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
