grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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