she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
