pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize